At minimum, I need someone for the next 24 hours, for $350ish. Roughly $20 an hour. And longer if you come the next day, and the next.
To come with me to the emergency room and then stay with me at the hospital, to be my friend, my patient advocate, my witness, to prevent medical malpractice.
Because I am sooooo sick, I am 100% definitely getting admitted and hospitalized. Probably for several days.
At minimum, I need you to come for tonight all night, starting as soon as possible tonight. It’s around 8:30pm now. Preference given to someone to can come on such short notice tonight and stay all night.
I need someone to come to my house to help me pack, come with my to the emergency room overnight, be there tomorrow morning when doctors make rounds, and preferably afternoon when more doctors make more rounds.
Even better: if you can help this evening, all night, all day tomorrow, (then go home for a break tomorrow night), then come back, and keep me company for as many days as I am hospitalized. (I am guess 3-7 days)
But at minimum if I find a good person to come help me pack this evening and come with me to the emergency department all night tonight—then please still apply. That’s still useful.
And then a second person can apply to come do the caregiver/advocate job on Wednesday/Thursday/Friday/however many days I am hospitalized.
Side note: if this goes well, I also need a caregiver for a longer period of time, roughly 20 hours week, afternoons 3-5 days a week.
Another note: yes, you might have seen my past caregiver ads (admittedly a more panicked one because I was wayyyy sicker then) and a cleaning ad. Yep, also me. This will be my third hospitalization in a month. I’m that sick. The food poisoning turned into a bowel obstruction, turned into abdominal tears, turned into additional infections… and I’m still sick, actually sicker, I need to go back to the hospital AGAIN. Third time. Ugh.
The first time, I ended up choosing to hire a “caregiver/advocate” who sounded nice over the phone, but turns out was a crazy person, she made everything worse, and then I sent her home. Please don’t be crazy. That won’t fly here.
The second time, I decided not to hire anyone to come with me and just think to myself “it’s an emergency. Just call 911 and just go. The medical malpractice potential cannot be THAT BAD. Surely fhe hospital staff would do the right things.)
BIG MISTAKE. (Spoiler alert: they did not. Not all of them. And now I’m sicker and injured in new ways and I have to get a lawyer to deal with the new medical malpractice because it was that awful !)
Never again am I going to the hospital alone. Never again. They can do anything terrible they want to you alone, and get away with it, if you’re alone without someone else there to stop them. :(
CNA/Nursing/medical experience preferred. But medical certification is not 100% necessary. But medical experience IS REQUIRED.
FOR example: I personally have no medical certificates, but I DO have tons of medical experience. I’m a huge medical nerd and sadly I have tons of life experience. I’ve been chronically ill for 18 years.
I have done this type of good deed care for friends: gone with them to the emergency room and overnight at the hospital, to make sure doctors treat them correctly.
I know how the emergency room and bad doctors can get really bullshitty sometimes, if you don’t have an advocate helping you. I know how to arrogate to make sure my friends get proper medical care. I need someone to come be that person for me, right now. (Unfortunately my people who do that are in another city and another country, because I had to move)
Please please please be a good person
Women applicants only please.
Please have experience dealing with medical malpractice.
I need someone who knows how idiot doctors in the emergency department can sometimes ignore legitimate illnesses.
I also need someone who understands how good doctors can be good. But bad doctors/bad nurses… bad people… WOW. BAD PEOPLE CAN BE BAD. EVIL. Evil exists. And bad medical staff can commit crimes and evil and malpractice through their teeth and then lie about it in the medical records— and I need a witness and advocate along with me, to help prevent EXACTLY THAT.
To come with me to the hospital. And stay with me there as long as possible . Minus 8 hours you can leave overnight on Wednesday onwards
But today, Tuesday, the majority of the job IS OVERNIGHT in the emergency room.
Again your job for that is more like, hang out, be a witness so doctors and nurses cannot lie about what happens in their notes and reports, help stand up for me if they start bulldozing me. Be a friend. Emotional support. Etc. maybe grab ice chips and juice for me if I’m allowed, Lol.
Honestly I think it’s a great gig, because:
You can even play on your phone 90% of the time when medical staff are not around, I don’t mind.
For the secondary long term caregiver job—we can discuss the hourly rate or salary later. If we decide we really like each other, and we want to turn this into a more long term 3-5 a day week, afternoons, caregiver, thing. My guess is 3-5 days a week in afternoons around $20 an hour, but, there’s some budgeting and other complications we’d need to straight out. But if you’re willing and I like you, this could turn into a longer term thing, potentially.
My bad mused to say, no calls. Well, that’s because I have focal seizures/simple partial seizures/a sense seizures, that meds with my ability to talk verbally. Especially when sick. They were interrupting my speech like every 10-30 seconds, thousands of seizures a day (a living nightmare). One small good thing out of the first hospital visit was a new seizure medicine, so, now I can talk out loud better. So now you can call me!)
That being said. I still prefer text. Hahaha.
Because when I get really sick and feel crappy, and I’m so sick right now, the seizures get worse. So talking is semi-difficult again. You can text and then call me, perhaps. How about both.
Also, if I am talking out loud, and I suddenly said “hold on” or “wait” or I just suddenly pause or suddenly go silent— that’s a seizure. (There’s a type of seizure that’s just a small piece of brain. Not every seizure is a giant one like House MD style). Just please wait quietly for it to pass.
My seizure is NOT an invitation for you to steal the conversation, or interior me. And not an invitation for someone else to talk. Someone else towing when I am having a seizure, feels like knives in my brain of stabbing pain. I can technically here the other person, I am conscious and aware— but it’s painful partial consciousness, and painful trying to understand what the other person says when they’re chatting away during my seizures. I’ll miss 90% of it.
Not to mention, I deserve the respect of not having the conversation stolen away from me, just because of my disabilities. Not having my disabilities weaponized against me. You know?
I am including the seizure note for two reasons: 1) so you are aware when you talk to me.
And 2) I just realized another really big job duty that you will have:
Advocate for me during the seizures, with the doctors and nurses. Don’t let them use the seizures to steal the conversation, walk all over me, bulldoze me, move me physically, etc.
tors and nurses to wait quietly while I am having a seizure. That I can hear them, but I’m in a lot of pain, and I’ll have difficulty comprehending what they’re saying, so they need to just wait until I’m done. And to “DO NOT TOUCH HER” during her seizures. (it’s very painful and overstimulating)
Call or text - 7 twooooo zero. 6. Threeeeeee 9. One 4. Fiiiiiiiiiiive. Zeroooooooooooooooo.
Ann.
PS: if you are a creepy male pervert: you need not apply. You will not be able to get at me: I have 2 dogs who are very protective of their mommy. To the sane applicants: if you are a good person, don’t worry. My dogs are good doggos who are friendly towards good people—and they will only be upset if mommy screams. I also have a cool thing called a gun. So perverts: you will not be able to take advantage of me, just because I’m sick. I am prepared. (Don’t worry if you are a good person: the dogs are friendly if you are friendly. As am I.)