SMALL CIVIL RIGHTS FIRM SEEKS WOULD-BE DRAGON SLAYER
We are looking for a self-motivated candidate who dreams of sticking it to the man. No experience is necessary. In fact, we don't even want to talk to anyone who passed the bar more than two years ago. Why? Because by now you will have already developed bad habits we don't want to deal with. We want to teach you our "bad" habits.
We don't want to talk to any cocky or arrogant people either. We don't care what your pedigree is, and we don't really even care what your GPA was, or what law school you went to. What we care about is who you are as a human being and what you've done with your life besides living off your parents and/or feeding at some public trough.
If you are scrounging for an entry point into "BIG LAW," good luck! If you meet our criteria, we will provide you the foundation you need to fight the government and win.
The pay rate is comparatively low ($66,560/year) because having just graduated from law school and passed the bar you likely don't know much about how to actually practice law, and will probably need a lot of coddling and direction. If you make it through the first year here, there may be some raises and bonuses in your future. If you think this posting is a little too harsh and feel the need to run to your safe space and/or call your therapist or mommy, its probably best if you just look for a job someplace else.
Only one position is available, it will go to the best qualified candidate who demonstrates an earnest desire to learn and to become the best fighter they can be. As an aside, vaccination is not a job requirement. From a political perspective, we do enjoy a generally conservative work environment. If you are easily offended, please do not bother contacting us.
If you are still interested after reading this post in detail, send a writing sample, and a current resume for our review.