We are looking for you if you can fit my criteria

We have a thankless position available for anybody who is smart enough to scrub a toilet. Brain surgery degree not required . If you want to spend your mornings scrubbing, excrement from somebody who couldn’t hit the broadside of a barn with a cannon then this is the job for you. Come join a sluggish team with an ungrateful owner. If you are lazy and undependable as hell, then we want to hear from you! If you are breathing, then we will pay you $21 an hour !