Tired of the dealership routine? Craving a change from the ordinary? Then you might just be ready for a workplace where automotive repair isn't just a job—it's an adventure. Here's what we've got for those who've had enough of:
Mandatory Saturday shifts because, apparently, weekends are for working, not living.
Battling over every minute on your timesheet. Time is money, but it shouldn't feel like a war zone.
A workplace where teamwork is mythical, and helping others feels like shooting yourself in the foot.
Feeling like you're in a constant David vs. Goliath battle, where the dealer is your antagonist.
If this sounds like your current life, then congratulations, you're in for a change! Our shop flips the script:
No More Saturdays! Enjoy your weekends like a regular human being. We believe in work-life balance, a concept so radical, it might just cause a commotion.
Wear Shorts! Yes, comfort is king here. If your legs can't breathe, are you even working?
Engage with Customers! Talk, laugh, and maybe even fix their day while fixing their car. Who knew customer service could be so fun?
Lunch with the Boss! Imagine discussing the weather without it turning into a performance review. Here, your sandwich recipe might be more valued than your repair stats.
Your Own Garage Space! Want to tinker with your own car? We've got room for that. Your passion projects shouldn't suffer because you're great at fixing others'.
Team Spirit Over Survival! Helping out isn't just okay; it's celebrated. We win together, or we don't win at all.
Bring Your Dog to Work! We love fur-balls (most of them). If your dog can't play nice, hold it, or resembles a creature from a horror movie, maybe leave it home.
If the typical dealership grind has left you cold, warm up with us. Here, cars get fixed with a smile, spirits are uplifted, and the only thing you'll argue over is the last slice of pizza.
Join us. Let's redefine what it means to be a technician, making each day memorable. Apply now, and let's start the journey of fixing cars the unconventional way.
Qualifications (Sort of):
3+ Years as a BMW Technician - Because if you can handle a BMW, life's curveballs are just practice.
Electrical and Mechanical Savvy - If you can't sync a car's brain with its brawn, how will you sync pizza toppings?
A Valid CDL - For moving our giant car-mascot or just looking good on paper.
40 Hours Per Week? - You're practically a superhero if you can do this without turning grumpy.
Martial Arts Black Belt - For entertainment, not security. Plus, stubborn car parts.
Dad Joke Mastery - Because every fix is a chance to brighten someone's day with a groan-worthy pun.
Karaoke Enthusiast - Our monthly sing-offs are epic. Can you serenade a carburetor?
Rubik's Cube Solver? - Great icebreaker with customers.
Oddly Specific Knowledge - Like, how many screws in a '86 BMW? Why not?
A Useless Skill - Balloon animals or interpretive dance? Why not diversify?
Weather-Predicting Pet - Imagine your parrot forecasting rain while you predict car troubles.
Philosophy Degree - Discuss life's meaning while fixing timing belts.
If you've got these (or a great story), you're our kind of technician. Here, we're not just fixing cars; we're fixing spirits, one laugh at a time. Apply now, join the revolution!
Our Substance Policy:
Drugs: Bolt, nut, or car part? Yes. Anything mind-altering? No. We fix cars, not reality.
Alcohol: Celebrate after work, not during. Your liver isn't part of the maintenance schedule.
Compensation: A Journey to Wealth Eventually
Starting Wage: Competitive, just the beginning of your treasure hunt.
Bonuses: Like treasure chests; you might find small gems or well, surprises.
Performance Reviews: Based on skill and lunar phases. Shine bright for a full wallet.
Annual Review: Your raise, like mythical plants, grows with the company.
Special Achievements: Fix a BMW awesomely? Your bonus might outsize the car.
Profit Sharing: Strike gold with the shop, or enjoy the adventure.
Mystery Bonuses: Like couch-cushion coins, just appear.
Your pay might be enigmatic, but it's well-paid in spirit and often in substance. We're not just compensating you; we're embarking on a financial odyssey together. Welcome aboard!
Bring Your Dog to Work Day:
Every day can be Bring Your Dog to Work Day! Here's how it goes:
Furry Friends: If your dog's tail wag doesn't topple tools, they're in.
No Chewing Allowed: Coworkers aren't chew toys; leave biters at home.
Bathroom Break: If they can't hold it, maybe reconsider.
Beauty Contest: No dog show, but if it scares customers, maybe rethink.
Mythical Creatures: If your dog looks like it belongs in fantasy, keep it there.
Remember, it's about creating a harmonious, tail-wagging environment. If your dog passes the vibe check, bring 'em down! Let's make this place perfect for you and your furry friends.